Devotion,Trust, Kisses, Affection, Vulnerability, Compassion, Support, Forgiveness, Friendship, Sex, Patience, Understanding, Sweet, Caring, Loyalty, Respect, Sharing, Passion, Comfort, Butterflies, Together, Joy. These words sound amazing right? All of these can be used to describe the ONE thing I convinced myself I wanted nothing to do with...A Relationship. If you evaluate each word individually, it does not seem so bad does it? Well of course not, they are all very uplifting words. It makes a relationship seem the greatest thing that could ever happen to anyone... These are the things we think about when picturing a relationship, these are the things that make us feel the butterflies to every love song. However, what about the tragic words? The words that wrote every Adele and Taylor Swift song? How do you keep your relationship writing John Legend songs? Since, I am not the best person to give relationship advice, I thought you guys could help me out. After a text forum with close friends and family, I have noticed that each and everyone of us have our own perception of relationships. There is something different we all seek in relationships, and there is something different we all are willing to give in relationships. After discussing this with my friends and families views on their relationships, or potential relationships I found my self wondering... "What the hell did I get myself into?" Just like a snowflake, no relationship is the same. What one person would do in a relationship, is not what another would do in a relationship. As I am searching for some type of "Relationship for Dummies Manual" I realize that each relationship writes its own guideline, and I am shit out of luck. So I have to ask myself: "What do I want out of this relationship?"
In my past Entry "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" I was more favorable towards Bang Banging, than I was Kiss Kissing. Before you all roll your eyes, and think "Sell Out". I am not saying I have changed my mind or anything, but today, I find myself more curious about Kiss Kissing.... Curiosity did kill the Cat.. So although I have jumped into the water, I tread with caution. While treading the water with some of you guys, I curious to your rules in the world of dating, and relationships I want to know this, because I constantly hear people discuss the "Do's" and "Don'ts" of Relationships, and I am wondering what Prick wrote these "Laws". The main discussions I have been in recently are the examples I am about to give... So I want to hear your feedback on your Rules for the following, what do you find acceptable, and what do you not find acceptable. With anything in life, everything is circumstantial, so I want to dig deep, and you tell me... What are your circumstances, I want to know what wrote your Rules. I want your raw feedback.
Exes... Can you remain friends?
Majority of the people reading along are going to say "F--- No!". There are some people who believe that you are only friends with an ex because of 2 reasons: you were either never in love with the person, or you are still in love with the person. Which could be true. There are some people who have past events that have tainted their trust in this situation.If you had an Ex that cheated on you with one of their exes... That would make anyone insecure. There are some people who say that it depends on the ex, and the situation. Which is a very valid point, I know me and some of my friends personally hold friendships near and dear to our heart, and do not want to cut people out of our lives. So I want you ask you: Are you still friends with your exes? Do you feel comfortable with you partner being friends with their ex? What are your circumstances for the ex? How friendly can you be with your ex?
Love... When do you know you have fallen in Love?
This is my favorite question, because there are so many different way people express the feeling you get when you "know" you're in Love. I have never been in love, but it is entertaining to try and imagine what people describe. I also love this question so much, because so many other questions follow after asking it. When asking my friends some said, you say "I love you" when you cannot imagine your life with out that person. Some said that you say it when you would die for that person. Some said that you say it when you get to the point to where you can't even hold the words in, and you're going to burst until you express it. One happen to say that it depends on whether or not we are talking about a Guy or a Girl. I personally have always believed that Guys know they are in Love before Women do. I was soon corrected , and was informed that if a Guy says "I Love You" before the girl, the relationship will not last. However, if a Woman says "I Love You" first, the relationship will last.The belief is that when a girl says "I Love You" it is genuine, but when a guy says "I Love You" it is strategic... So tell me Ladies and Gents, are there Gender Rules to saying "I Love You"? When do you think it is the right time to say "I Love You"? How do you know if the Love is genuine?
The Past... how much do we really want to know?
This is something that haunts all of us, the past is what makes up all of our hopes, insecurities, and ultimately makes us who we are today. It is also something that can allow someone to judge you, it can push someone away, and it can change the way someone sees you.This was a question that never had a definite answer so I want to ask you guys: How much do we really want to know about a person? Do we really want to know everything? How much of the past really matters? In my person opinion, I think the past writes all our rules in the current relationship we are in, and any relationship in the future. I think that the past mistakes we have made, and the past heart aches build our barriers up, and in a way dictates our future.
So the real question would be, What past relationship is writing your current Relationship's Rules?
1. The only so lovely Ex's topic. There are so many variables to this question there is not enough time or room to answer. Sum it up depending on the situation are there children involved, how long were they together, how long have they known each other.
ReplyDeleteIf children are involved parents should always try an Co exist as it shows the kids they are loved and just because people don't always get along doesn't meet we can't be friends.
Why did they end the relationship was it a negative one, if so that would be like asking your doctor to put the cancerous tumor back in your body just because you were together for awhile.
We're they friends prior to becoming involved, and if all parties are acceptable with the situation this is where that nasty word "trust" comes into play. As long as you and your partner have open communication and both of you value and respect the feeling of each other. Only you can answer this question for yourself, but whatever you do you have to be completely trusting.
2. How do you know your in love, this question cannot be tied up into a simple explanation as love is complicated but all so worth it. Some say you know you are I love "when you would do anything for that person", or "when you can't imagine life without them." Love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbor , God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die.
The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life's greatest blessing.
3. How much do we want to know about their past. This depends on the level of commitment, for example:
a. Just meet, only the basics.
b. Dating 2 months, would like to know why last relationship ended.
c. Dating 6 months want to know number sexual ex's (no details please).
Without knowing the past of our partners we cannot really know them. Having a relationship grow without knowing the past would be like taking a promotion at work every 6 months but never knowing the details of the job. In relationships we get promotions to from the girl he just meet, to the girl who is pretty and funny, to the girl he thinks he like, to the girl he does like and so on.
Human nature is to learn by the past mistakes whether it be ours or someone else's. Our past make us the person we are today, so I say know as much of the past as you are capable of accepting and not judging as we have all made some questionable choices.