Love or Sex, that is the question! What is either one anyway? Do any of us really know what Love is? On the other hand, do any of us really know the magnitude of Sex? I feel as if they both have a couple of things in common, at one point or another, we all long for them and we all use them in vain. You have to have some kind of connection for either one to work, and they have a way of blinding us. Now that I think about it, they are both very similar... However, I wonder: if they are so similar, why do they not seem to go hand-in-hand? What I mean by that is: why can we have one without the other? Unfortunately, I have never been in Love and had Sex (GASP), so I have never officially "Made Love". However, I have had amazing Sex, and never been in Love with that person... So I have to ask you, can you have both? Is it possible to get the FULL PACKAGE, you know a Love you fall so deep into, and the kind of Sex you never thought you would get into? The kind of relationship that does not make you want to look up at the stars, and wish for something more... That my friends, that may be THE DREAM!
I have written about Love in a past entry, so you should know my complex with it. At this juncture in my life, I don't quite know if I believe in it. I Love my family, I Love my friends, but as far as me falling head over hills for someone.... I have other dreams to fantasize about. Does that make me cynical? I would be lying if I said that I have never desired it, because I have heard people talk about being in Love, and I thought to myself "I want to be in Love", but I also want to never pay another bill again, and travel the world... To me the latter seems more plausible. I think Love can be made out into such a cliche', but yet it is an ungrasped emotion for me. More often than not, I think people convince themselves of Love, and they have fallen victim to it. I also think that more often than not, people hate feeling alone, and substitute their infatuation with Love. For me Love does not last, maybe it is because I have not found anyone that I am willing to put the time in for. (I make it sound like a prison sentence) After the "Honey Moon Phase" I am ready to "Phase" you out of my life. I am young, and Love is the furthest from my mind. My idea of Love is someone carrying my groceries for me, and paying for my tab at the end of the night. I do not wish to pursue someone for the rest of my life right now, because I am not even a quarter of a century old yet, and I want to enjoy myself before it is all over. I have the rest of my life, to spend the rest of my life with Mr. Right. And darling, I am not that anxious to start that right now. I have also witnessed too many couples admit to longing for more of a sexual connection with their partner. I hear them get too comfortable, and the Sex goes out the window. So can you Love someone with out enjoying the Sex with them? Is Sex a luxury feature in Love?
I have never written about Sex before, but tonight I am going to try and get my Carrie Bradshaw on. (Mom, Dad, Brothers, Sister, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and Gammy.... I am still your little girl, but this is the part where you go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before you started reading my blog, I will explain it when you're older... I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT) Sex, is not so complex for for me, or so I thought... I use to think that the only thing that complicated this, was that Little Red Devil "Pandora" that likes to rear her ugly face once a month. However, I thought this because I did not respect what Sex is. I did not value Sex or the person I shared it with, like I do today. Sex can completely complicate a relationship, the passion can be misleading,and the respect can be missing.I can admit to one thing right now, and that is that I Love Sex, I am not a maniac about it, but the experience is nice. I have more positive things to say about Sex than I do Love, because I feel as if it is something that cannot be faked. You cannot fake sexual chemistry with someone. I feel like you do not fully know a person until you share yourself with them.. (You might think them to be one way in the streets, but they could be the polar opposite between the sheets.) It is just one of those moments where our souls are using our bodies to come together, it is pure. I use to feel as if Sex was something to be shy about, I am not so much that way anymore. Do not get me wrong, there is an ugly side to Sex. The scary thing about it, is that you do not have to be in Love to enjoy it. I feel as if people use Sex as a substitute for Love as well. Sex can ruin a relationship faster than Love can, because at least in Love people have a mutual respect for each other. Sex, it can be very selfish, we usually only want it for our own sexual needs. You never really go into Sex thinking I cannot wait to please that person... You usually go into it wanting someone to please your needs. I have had a relationship or two based on Sex, and secretly inside, I just wanted the Love, as a security blanket. I did not want to lose my Sex to that person falling in Love with someone else. That my friend is the perfect example of selfish, so now I am in this complex with Sex. I am at a place where I do not want to share it with any one new unless I Love them, because at least if I at least have that, we will both respect each other enough to not have the Sex ruin our relationship. However, I have found myself putting too much emphasis on Love, and none on Sex... And since I have expressed that I do not believe in Love, you can see where a drought may occur.
I am not longing for some meaningless one night stand, and I am not looking for the person I am wanting to spend the rest off my life with. I guess I am just wondering what will happen if Love and Sex combine forces... Maybe one night I will travel way above the clouds, and high above the stars, through some unknown black holes, to a place where no one knows. However, tonight I am on earth, looking at the stars wishing for something more... I want to leave you with the question Love or Sex?
The type of love of which you speak is Romantic Love. It does exist, but it's not thick on the ground for a lot of different reasons. It doesn't have to be an either/or question. The secret, I think, is that you realize that having one person be the center of all of your happiness is not really a good idea. The fact that you love them, and in turn, that makes you happy is a good result, but depending on one person to love you, make you happy and basically entertain you is what most young people (even in my generation) think of as love.
ReplyDeleteThe root of it all is respect. If you respect yourself, you can respect others. If you can love yourself, you can love others. But, it all begins with you. You are a brilliant, vibrant young woman who respects and loves herself. It's no surprise, in this day and age that you've not yet met a young man who has that same amount of self-confidence and ability to convey it. No one says you have to fall in love as young as you are. That's usually not the lasting kind of love that is there for the long haul. Be patient, which is hard for you, and I think you will meet some amazing guy who will knock you off your feet, make you laugh AND be fantastic in the sack.